I won’t deny it; I used to be a fairly aggressive chap at work. Not in a physical sense; nor in an abusive sense. Rather, I would call it like it I saw it, even if that meant I’d trigger an argument or fight. I’d send my opinions into battle and keep reinforcing them until the war was won.
In a way, it was satisfying. In others, it was horrible. It wasn’t really in my nature, but at work I wore a different persona (I think we all do), and it wasn’t a great one. I wasn’t a horrible person. But my patience wasn’t great.
It took a job-change to make me realise that I needed to change path. I needed to practice the art of saying nothing. I needed to listen. I needed to let people fail rather than try to teach them, to press them, to succeed.
I think I’m getting there. And I think I know why. In my old job I was both a “senior” developer and a Scrum Master. So I was trying both to force home technical solutions and be open to all. I now know that wearing these two hats is no easy task.
I’m now 100% Scrum Mastering. And it makes such a difference. It’s taught me to accept that the developers I serve are the experts in their field, and that I need to let them make the decisions, good or bad, right or wrong. At most, I guide; normally using stories from my own experiences. I question, but I don’t demand answers. I educate but I try to keep it to lessons about Scrum and practising agility.
I’m happy with this state of affairs. I’m happy with myself.